--> a:link { cursor: crosshair; } a:active { text-decoration: line-through; } a:visited { cursor: crosshair; } body { background-color: black!important; background-image: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/yourprettywhenyoucry/words.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat !important; background-attachment: fixed !important; background-position: top right!important; } GLOBAL_HEAD<= open wide eat your words. choke on regrets. l0st_in_silence's Journal
Home
l0st_in_silence's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
l0st_in_silence

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[02 Oct 2004|11:13pm]
yea its been an eventful past few days. i got fired from my job. i didnt show up last tuesday. my manager asked me why . i said i didnt feel like comin in. so thats it with that job. which is kool. i didnt like it at all. i have a new job at bloomingdales..i do stock and onne day soon comin a sale associte.  i get paid 8.25 an hour. and thats damn way better then my las job aat 6 dollars an hour. renees mom has been a lil crazy these past few days but everythigns ok now. me and renee dont see each other as much as we used to. now that our jobs are in the way. we see each other some times at work. but ig uess we got to used to each other the first couple of weeks together. i was sleeping at her house for a while. and we just got to know each other better. and never wanted to leave each others side... but we can get thru that easily. i bought her a car stereo for her car. its cool. now we gotta put some speakers in that shit. haha..so yea tonite ih hnug out with matt mark kyle roxy and coco. we chyled around. we went to the nutley diner apple bees barnes and nobile .. tonite i went to apple bees and talked to some ppl i knew. and it kinda piised me off. because ii found out my previopus EX has or had been tlaking some stuff.. i fukin hate that shit. neverr fukin honest with me. practically no 1 is ever honest to me. fukin scum bags. ne ways. thats about it. i found some 1 now that makes me happy. and she doenst judge shit bout me. when i do something funni or crazy she doenst put me down by callin me wierd or stupid or an idot. she actually joins in with me.. haha. but yea ne ways. thats bout it for now. not much goin on. i work at 9am -6pm monday. if you want com visit me at willowbrook at bloomingdales. 3rd floor you'll see me around. ...      if we go down, we go down together..
11 comment

pictures of me and renee <3 if you want comment [24 Sep 2004|12:49am]






me and renee in the laundry room...







me and renee just relaxing in my room.
16 comment

everythings good [18 Sep 2004|09:26pm]
so yea the last three days ive been with renee. i slept here for 3 days. i told her im moving in. haha. all my clothes are here. haha. we've been good. we've been renting movies eating relaxing. haha we did my laundry tonite. haha. she folded my clothes. her mom makes good food. we been driving around. the other day she let me parallel park because she didnt know how. damn im good. her mom is real nice she likes me. because im nice and i take care of renee. and i help clean.  she lets me and renee sleep together. its been reall good for me im happy shes happy every ones happy.. i been keepin away from every one because i have less problems and stress. its better that way. fuck it B.. haha. i dont even care anymore. so we took pics in her laundry rooom i will post them probably tomro. so check back tommorrow for pictures. check ya.
2 comment

[13 Sep 2004|11:31pm]
saturday: chyled w/ renee bree franki mike stacy melinda melissa and 3 other kids. dont remeebr thier names. we all went to carnival at st. leos. it was fun. funni ass kids man. woo. i havent had tha much fun since. phewww many months ago. lol. we went to the elmwood park diner. ate . and lsiten to mikes funni but pointless jokes. haha.

sunday: hung out with jayb we walked thru nutley to bloomfield and then to montclair. it was horrible. me and him couldnt walk. are legs were shot.. we met up w/ amanda. they went to a park. and hung out ;) hahha. after that. i drank water from a sprinkler. and then climbed a wall. lol. pics soon to be posted.

monday: hung out with renee. she jus got her car thur inspection. after gettin rejection 3 times. aww. lol.we went to the mall to find her a job. and bingo we got her a job. it almsot sounded def. at icing at garden st. plaza. we saw leanne nicole and annie. it was nice to see them. those damn scene kids. lol. i had to be renee;s eyes on the roads. shes jus gettin used to the highway which is good. she let me park her car. wooo. we went to best buy to find her a cd-player for her car. we found one. were gonna buy it in a few weeks. :) we went baackk to my house and jus relaxed.

tomorrow. renee might come by to seeme on her break from school. so yea thats bout it w/ updates.. piccs will be posted later on.
4 comment

if you feel something poking. its not my pinky. [11 Sep 2004|01:18am]
tonight: i hung out with renee, bree, and frankie. it was fun. they ppicked me up like at 930. or 10pm cant really remember, we drove to the carnival at st. leos. its renees carnival. she says. nice rides. but alot of youngsters there. they say that tomorrow is gonna be better. renee said shes gonna show me off to all her friends. how nicce of her. so we were jus walkin around the carnival. i guess they wanted to see if they see a familiar face. lol. i was renees boyfriend for the night. and she was my rent-a-date. and frankie was brees boyfriend for the night. haha. it was cute. we left the carnvial after walking in it for like 15 mins. we went to mcdonalds. because we were starving. i only had 3 bbucs. so i got a cheese burger. renee gave me som of her fries. and i stolle her drink. she got a happy meal and it came with a toy. so she gave me the toy. because. i got her a rose:) so we letft mcdonalds. we were the last ones there. cuz we rule. so we took a ttrip to willliam paterson university. thats brees school. frankie wanted to kno how to get there. so he could visit her! lol. me and renee were "smootchy boochying" it up. lol. it was cute. and i guess bree thought we were doin stuff in the bac seat. and like renees skirt when up. idont know how it did that. lol. and like she was gettin yelled at by bree!. no messing around in my bac seat!! hahaha.. honeslty we werent dooin nutin but holding hands ;) moments later. like renee and bree start singin.lol. jeezz. haha.. renee is so adorable when she gets all comfortable on me. i guess im comfy. :) which is good. i was giving her a massage;) it looked like she liked it. haha. the night came to a close. when bree dropped mme off home. i siad my goodbyes and i gave a kiss. and that was it. thanx bree for pikin me up. u didnt have to but did. in my book ur cool. hahah

last night: i hung out with DJ it was fukin funni as hell. wwe went to menlo park mall. some where in edison. ahah.. its like the richest malll ever! like only white ppl in there. the onli black ppl were the ones cleaning the place, haha. there was tthis huge lady. her thigh was llike fukin grossssss. oh man. like i couldnt even walk when i saw her. lol he bought a ipod. me and him looked like trash. h e couldnt evcen get help in tha store. every 1 is like in suits. and me and him are like. fukin belleville/newark kids. u knew we werent from there. lol. he had to tap on some pones shoulder to get help. ahah. damn that sux.so we left that mall. we go t lost in it. but we found our way. we were gonan go to renees but she didnt no how to get to her house.. haha. so we went to this kids house. it was lieka studio. some band was there. it was kool. the whole room looked like it was hot boxed. DJ dropped me off home wehn he picked up greg and got beer.. and that was my night lastt night.
2 comment

the elevator never felt so comfortable. [06 Sep 2004|11:26pm]
summary of my last few days.

thursday/friday- my car ride home from orlando. it was bad. i didnt like it. it was too long. i had to like shit x235534634. and liek we stopped 4 times. the good thing bout the trip, i had 13 hours of sleep. whic was good.. i was suppose to be home at 8pm and but got home at 11pm.. i was suppoose to hang out w/ renee at the movies and go outt to dinner. but that didnt work out to well because i got home late.

saturday- i hung out with marybeth. shes real cool. she got me mcdonalds :) im was happy. we went to the willowbrook mall tryin to meet jess matzske there. but after spending an hour in there. we couldnt find jess. we. found ou tthse was at the garde statee plaza mall. hahah.. yea so we took off from willowbrook to garden state. we spent about a total of 3 and a 1/2 hours in the mall. jess was so happy to see me i got the most biggest hug from her. she liked cracked my spine! thanx jess i missd yu!.. we went shopping for a few. then we left. we got wendys after wards cuz me and jess were maddd hungry. jess got a salad and barelyt ate it. ahha. went to star bucks and jus chyled there for a few. me and marybeth lock jess at the car and popped the trunk. jess opens the trunk and hops in it. and shes tlakin to us thru it.lol.. fukin crazi cracker. haha. after that we met up w/ laurie another fan of me! wooo. ppl actually missed me when i was gone wow. haha. we dropped jess of and me and marybeth watch a movie at my hizzouse. it was a fuked up crazzi movie. (godsend). aha. then she left at like 12:45am.

sunday . i chyled w/ jess and watched godsend. hours later matt came over to chyl. we watched g0dsend. ahha he almost shit his pants. haha.. hours later angela came over to watch it . lol she was scarred and crying. we picked up pete. andd chyled . we went to mcdonalds. i was screamin at the drive thru later. i said i waant a biggie size meal. forgettin tha i was at mcdonalds and its super size not biggie size. she didnt understand me. poor lady!

monday- labor day. jus chyled and like talkin to ppl bout jobs. making appointments for jobs. i hung out with renee. i met her mom. and her moms boyfriend. her moms boyfriend thinks im goodlookin. should i be worried? haha. i had so much fun tonite. and good spanish food. haha. i was tryin to fix rennees comp. didnt really work out. lol. so we jus sat and relxed:) it was nice. her mom drove me home early . i didnt wanna go it was too early to be home haha


lara: go get that makeout scene hahah
6 comment

consider this a hurtful accomplishment. [30 Aug 2004|09:48pm]

im coming home wednesday night. hangin oout w/ MB_ ... jayb wnats to chyl... we'll see bout that. ahah..  thursday chyln at alicias house.  friday . im goin to the movies and out to eat with renee. maybe ill meet "carmie" haha my *BF4L* saturday im goin to the No Easy Answer show w/ melissa and katie. should be fun. hah..its at the bloomfield ave cafe. uhh people should  show up... im so happy to be home soon. i gotta hang out w/ alot of people. ahah.

its been different lately. like it kills me to talk to her. everytime she IMs me, my heart starts pumpinn fast. of course shes never gonna get that feeling but its a rough feeling. i would be surprised if she thought about me one day.. but if i knew she thinks about me it would kill. so either way im fucked. but i just want her to know she will always have my heart. and i love her and always will.. but im moving on. theres no point in waitin when she very rarely wants to talk bout "us" ..time for me to suck it up. i can finally stop tastin those "not needed" tears. 

 

"so cross out my name  and tear out the page burn all the pictures smash all the frames."

                                                                                                                                                              

6 comment

[27 Aug 2004|02:09am]



9 comment

monkey undies... [26 Aug 2004|04:05am]
so its 4:05am .. just wanna tell everyone who hasn't heard. i got my lip pierced. its really cool. it hurts tho. static wasnt wrong bout what kind of pain it brings. haha thanx for the heads up static. haha.. jus got off the phone w/ melissa. it was cool. thanx for trustin me w/ everything you told me. its amazing how  u can meet some 1 and jus talk to them as they were ur best friend. . thats cool. well me and her cant go to tha early november show b/c u gotta have ID no 1 told us until some 1 emailed me from LJ sayin that. o well. so i guess i will be goin to that NEA show that week. haha koool. tomorrow i go for my FL permit. wish me luck. and i also get a haircut. woo. finally i feel like i have a black rabbit on my head. i was thinkin of dying it. any suggestions?!?...today is michelle's b-day .. woo happy b-day suckaa..hahah. wat are you 12 haha j/k. everyone whose seen my lip ring has commented in my myspace. and they were really nice comments.thanx every one for taking time out to look and leave a comment. so my summer by next week is comin to a close. it sucked. alot. but i did enjoy the new people i met this summer. its been cool. well this was kinda pointless.

"when u see your own reflection.
remember that  its perfect.
remember that your  golden."
4 comment

dont reach your hands to me. its too late for anything . you know that i've gone above and beyond. [25 Aug 2004|12:29am]

today didnt really do much . i made an appointment for my permit test. for thursday at 2pm. i hope i can pass. i was suppose to get my lip pierced yesterday but i did some landscaping work. it was soo hott. the night before i was on the phone till like 5am forgetting i had to wake up like 10am.  after that landscaping  shit. i had to take a shower because i smelt like FL air. and it sux. i had dead bugs on me and huge musquito bites. i think i got west nile ..wooooo.. id be dead already right? so any ways i took my shower. and i wa ss o refreshed but yet so tired. so i fell asleep totally forgot about my lip. then i woke up went online. till very late and chatted on the pphone. go i miss my friends back in jersey haha . i talked to amanda (manda bear) last night shes doing fine she misses jay alot haha poor girl. shes in Mrytle Beach. i told her to find some men. haha. she called me while i was updating but i didnt pik up. haha it will ruin my train of thoughts coming in. sorry manda bear : P im getting my lip done definitly tomorrow. and i will definitly take pics.. i cant wait to get it done. and i ahve to buy a retainer while im at it too to wear for my job b/c they dont like lip rings..lol. its not " office appropriate". Apex finally called me woo. so i gotta call them back when i get back home. so yea this past week ive been watching the olympics . and wow i wish i wasnt stupid and had much talent as them. :\ as soon as i get bac to jersey i gotta get coffee with marybeth. the 2nd of spet idont know what im doing. the 3rd im goin to see the early november and stafford for free at montclair state. w/ jayb and prolly my friend melissa from bloomfield. wooo.. should be fun.. and the 4th i mgiht be goin to the NEA show. probably with marybeth cause she wanted to go. she hasnt been to one in a while. yea right now its 12:56am some of u probably know what it is today. yea. ::cough cough:: so any ways. yea jersians ill be bac soon ill look different probably. i miss u all hooty fuking hoo.

8 comment

[21 Aug 2004|01:22am]

i cant wait to leave this place. its all havoc. and like slave work here. i do everryhting here. i try and keep ppl happy like my mom... i jus told off my sister tonight. to me shes not my sister any more. i called her a slut and worthless... and thats what i see in my eyes.. i dont even care any more. we dont wanna see each other.. so o well. thaxn to marybeth and jess. b/c they had to listen to me complain to them.. thanx for lettin me vent. but also sorry. well i gues im comin even more sooner then i planned. i guess i cant do the things i wanted to do here. another day i guess. here are some pics of nature for your viewing pleasure.. thanx for listening.  





17 comment

pointless update [16 Aug 2004|09:38pm]
so im hangin here. bored. listening to some aspen thinkin about special ppl bac at home in jersey. ahaha i neevr thougth id have my boys missin me. haha matt and mark we def. gonna hang out wen iget bac!. haha.. hav nothing to do here. havent done any shoopin here. supoose to get new onitosuka tiger sneakers. ill get them tomro. i gotta get my lip pierced still. it shuld look kol. i dont care what any one says about it. o well! me and jen moran didnt hang out today cuz my sister wnated to be kool and get in to an accident so no car for her!.. so yea thas it w/ this entry .. ttoally poiintless but im bored.
8 comment

[15 Aug 2004|02:21pm]
yea here in Florida has been kinda hectic. hurricane charley left us. everything is damaged. alot of ppl died. no streetlights. jus really bad. mr alves wake is up in jersey. last night and today. but i cant be there to see it and say my last goodbyes. but mark being a good friend that he is, put my name down on the sheet. thanks mark. im supose to be gettin my lip pierced today. but im gonan wait till i hang out w/ jen to get it. cuz hse wants to get her belly button done. yea thats right. im hangin out with jen moran tommorrow. i havent hung out w/ that stoner ina while. should be fun i think. we are probably gonna hit up some malls. and head tto down town orlando for our piercings. something fun to do while im here. my moms out of work again today . so hopefulli i can try and convince he to let me use her visa :) . i wanna order stuff online. haha.  i miss everyone back in jersey.  i mis her 2.  but yea. its been rough down here. if ur bored read and comment. bye.
6 comment

put your hats near your hearts and keep your head up. [12 Aug 2004|08:23pm]
8 comment

sight seeing. [12 Aug 2004|12:11pm]

well yesterday i was really bored. so me and my sis decided to drive around orlando. i took few pictures. hope u like!

 

-wonderworks building. yes it is upside down!

-the building again!

-a convention center.

-big ass teddy bear.

-a vans skatepark in the mall!!!

-also in the mall!! lol

-hurricane charlie headed our way!!

15 comment

the cloud that surrounds us all. [12 Aug 2004|02:34am]
wow. what a day. i woke up to some shocking news. j-RO IMed me that mr. albert alves (double A) was found dead. i dont know where. or i dont kno all the info. thats just whatt he told me. every one is shooken up about it. b/c be believe it  or not he had an impact on all of the kids that went to skool and knew him and have had classes w/ him.. he helped out most of us in many ways. i feel really bad for his family and his close friends at his jobs. he was too young

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.

We thought about you yesterday,
And the days before that, too.

We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.

Now all we have is memories,
And your picture in a frame.

Your memory is our keepsake,
With which we'll never part.

God has you in His Keeping.
We have you in our Heart.

                     

                                                   Dedicated: Albert Alves.

3 comment

cut the strings. [10 Aug 2004|02:53am]
so this expirience has been not good yet. arugments w/ my family keep happpening. my brother "Tries" to be gangster and is not. and gets loud w/ my mother. i was at the bank with them and they started arguing. almost fighting. mind u my brother is 12. acting like a 20 yr old. yestesday i was cleaning. i discovered a hustler magazine under my bros bed. hes 9yrs old he said he doesnt kno who it is. but its all good. lol. hes gotta learn someday. idecided. im gonna stay here to get my license. b/c i herd u canget ur license here w/ in 2 wks. which is awesome. i wanna try and make it back to jersey before the middle of sept. my uncle is tryin to get me a job w/ him so i could money every week. kool beans. well thats al for now. check ya later
11 comment

wow. bored. [08 Aug 2004|12:55am]

wow really bored. it was rainign all day and i coudltn even go to the mall.

 cuz it was like flooding the streets.. theres nothing to do when it rains.

so here are the pics. and can u believe the sky was actually this color.

the lake across from the house.

8 comment

im here. [07 Aug 2004|08:47pm]

yea wow. im here in Florida. its so   crummy here already its raingin alot. it actually rained all day.but here are some pictures to loook at when i wasin the air.. 

 

stimpy didnt want me to go!!

4 comment

[06 Aug 2004|01:36am]

tuesday: i went to the mall w/ jess. bout a hollister shirt. she got like shoes and some other stuff. we got home like 3:30pm she had modeling class. i jus chyled until later that night. it was alicias birthday and her get 2gether w/ some friends. it was alot of fun. jackie came to. and i was happy :) so any ways we all chyled there had to be close to 20 people there. oh man fuunni jokes left and right. very good food man. at 11pm me and chetta took jackie home. chetta is alicias mom and is so nice!. me and jackie were holding hands in the car. head on head and my arm around her. it was a kodak moment. we gave each other a lil kiss and that was it for us. chetta tok us back to the house. we all hung out. it was me, mike, rich, chriss laurie, jess, dave, janel, jayb, leanne, ivan, alan, these 2 kids i dont really talk to, robby willie alicia, ally, and sandra. i think thats it. some people were chyln by the food tlakin some playin ping pong and some in the pool. it was really kool. as the time went on. people were leaving. jess me rich laurie and chris were havina ball in the pool. we all found out tha jess had the clap and lauries a whore. yippeee!!..lol. alicia told us to get out of the pool b/c we had to wake up early to go to six flags. so every one went inside. and hung upstairs and down stairs. robby and chris played some acoustic songs. was nice. jayb was gettin a massage from ally eatin a lollipop and listening to the acoustic stuff. wow jay had the life. asian rich said it would be better if he was sittin on a toilet taking a shit eatin a roast beef sandwich and gettin head. well some people have different ways of havin a good life. lol. jess was really tired. and no 1 upstairs was tired they were all wide awake. so i gave jess my comfy couch! jess u owe me one. me, jay, alicia, jamie and jess were down stairs, me and jayb watched 3 movies. my babys daddy. fox and the hound. and the fmaily guy series. 3 really great movies. tig ass bitties jay!! ahhaha fox and the hound was a sad movie. shit man. almost made us cry. lol. every 1 upstairs didnt go to sleep till bout like 530 or 6am.
                                                                                wednesday: we all wake up late. were eating breakfast and ppl decide to go to mountain creek. wow so last minute. out of the people tha slept over only 6 ppl went. it was amazing!! i wanna go bac.oh man it was me alicia jayb ally ivan and leanne. we all got a tan got fucked up feet. and alot of wetness. lol. we were there from 12pm till 7pm. those rides are amazing. omg guys how funny was that wen the fat lady couldnt slide downt he slide she had to woblle down and at the end of the slide she did like 2345534 flips and a 360.. aww. poor lady. i wantted to ask if she was alright and get her autograph. for doin flips and 360. lol.. it was funni wen alicia was tryin to go down the slide and went the opposite way of the watera nd landded on ehr butt. haha that mus of hurt. well we left the park. got back to alicias and ate and leanne drove me home. hung out with jackie and her friend laura. itt was cool . but i hadda get home. b/c i was feeling sick and i thought i was makin jackie mad by not talkin and laffin w/ her friend. as i was leaving. i got all emotional. and said goodbye. we kissed one last time. and i wont forget it.
ilujf*

today(thursday): hung out w/ natasha it was fun watched a movie. she helped me make the thing i made for jackie. thanx natasha. we also took pictures. but im only gonna post 1. b/c im not good w/ puttin all pics in b/c it messes up my entry.lol Friday: i leave for FL at 12pm. damn im gonna miss al my friends. and my love. x0x0. to yu all

comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement